i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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