She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
