How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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