i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
