i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
