I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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