You made me cry and you don't even care
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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