I hate your face
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
