i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have aggressive nipples.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
