Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
