is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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