I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
