Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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