so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
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Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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