And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
