Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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