I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
