don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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