She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize