I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
