Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
