She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
