After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize