I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
