i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I need water and some morals
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
