You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
