Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
