Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
