when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
