I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
