I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
