Bisexual people are plain selfish.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
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It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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