So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
