I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
