It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
True strength comes from lack of pants
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
