remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
