if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
