Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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