Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
