Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Found your dick twin last night
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
