Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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