and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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