It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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