Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
