dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
