The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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