i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
