I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My feet surprised me
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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