I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize