Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
