Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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