Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
