so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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