There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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