There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize