It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
there is glitter all over my balls
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
