he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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