Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
