we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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